More random memories,,,,skipping school and hiding in the garage top,,,why would I do that,,,it was boring.Most of the memories I find are from Holderness st and a few from other places.  But remember, none of this is in chronological order, just my thoughts. Walking to school with Darlene down the railway tracks.  Of course we had been told not to walk that way but as other children do, we knew that was the shortest way and Darlene said it was ok,,,so it was ok.  I don't remember the names of any of the schools I attended.  But in this school I had a black man as a teacher and back in the very early 60's that was unusable.  I do remember he hit my hand with a ruler for talking in class and I went home crying to my step-father.  He went to the school the next day and told that man not to hit me anymore,,to call home and they would punish me.

I also remember there was a girl that said she was going to beat me up.  I have no idea why.  But I also remember going to her house and she answered the door.  I ask her why she wanted to beat me up and would she mind doing it now so I wouldn't be embarrassed at school.  She didn't beat me up but I also don't remember what was said.

I get confused when other people talk about going to school with joe and mary and their greatest teacher was Ms Smith,,,,it amazes me that they remember.  I'm old now but even when I was younger, I didn't remember their names and it made me sad.  When I told Darlene in bed one night, she said I was just retarded and to stop thinking about it. 

I also remember playing in the upper backyard (our yard had 3 levels,,the front was a small hill that went up to the house, then in back was a small backyard even with the house, the cloths line was there and the bottom half of the garage.  Then there was a wall and stairs next to the garage that took you up to the next level, which was Hugh to a child.  We had a trail thru the tall grass and maybe it was like a figure 8 and a circle around that.  But me and Darlene played cowboy and Indians.  The cowboys (Darlene) were chasing me (the Indian).  She had a hatchet from the garage and I had a stick for an arrow, no bow.  I remember coming around the corner and she jumped out of the grass and chopped me in the head with her hatchet, I thought I was dying because of all the blood, but head wounds bleed alot and she told me to shut up screaming before mama heard me.  Then she went and got a wet rag and held it on my head for along time and talked to me.  It's funny, It's funny cause I can still feel the scar in my head.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My first introduction to sex.  I remember waking up with my step-father sucking his finger and then putting it into my vagina.  He was pumping his penis while he kept going in and out of my vagina to taste.  I remember rolling over and trying to act like i was still asleep so he would stop.  why was he in my bed you may ask?  My mother was in the hospital to give birth to my half brother or to have a mis-carriage,,,not sure which, but i know there was a baby in the dresser drawer (left open) on the bottom next to my mother and step-fathers bed.  I had never slept alone because me and Darlene shared a bed, so when mama said Darlene was going to sleep with the baby to watch her, my step-father slept with me to keep me company.  I know it wasn't rape by genitalia and his penis did not penetrate me, but to me it was a violation.  I know about sex because my sister talked about it but i didn't understand why my step-father would be messing with me....
Read more
Playing in the ditch with worms(NOT).  Mama come out on the porch looking or checking on me,,,I turn and say "look at the big worm I found in the ditch"....Mama says "Honey put the worm down please, it's too big to play with,,,please put down the worm"  I didn't want too but I did what mama said.  It was a moccasin snake.  See God was taking care of me always. This is the house that was down the hill from the brown house on top of the hill.  I don't remember which came first,,,I do remember the hog in the house down the hill vs the house on top of the hill. We had a wringer washer on the back porch and I remember standing on a crate to turn the wringer for mama,,,then my aunt B either being outside already or taking the laundry outside to hang it on the line and that hog chasing her around.  I think this house down the hill must have been first.  This is where Darlene tortured me a lot.  One Sunday we were all dressed nice, could of been E...
Read more

Just in case you're wondering why I'm writing.....

I'm a manic depressant with very violent tendencies and self destructive thoughts.  I know this but I don't understand how I turned out this way at all.  I've been self-destructive of good relationships and have at times, constantly thought of dying and the joy of going to heaven.  Maybe if I put all this mess down somewhere,,I can remember more and more and then try to put it in chronological order, I want to know why I am the way I am.  I'm not a bad person, I love with everything I have, I help others anyway possible, even to the point of putting my own self into debt.  My heart breaks for those less fortunate and I get really angry with child molesters,,,,I actually think of ways to just kill them.  You know, like cut off their penis and shove it down their throats till they choke, cut off their ball sake so they bleed to death slowly or just bash them in the head with a brick, over and over and over. Wait, I'm moving out of the childhood that I ge...
Read more